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Gruesome Twosome: Killer Joe vs May #NSFW
Staff: Kent & Kelly | Jan 25, 2013 Post on Facebook
   

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Welcome to Gruesome Twosome Double Feature! What we do is pit two campy and cheesy horror flicks against each other in an all out grudge match. Here is how it works:

Kent and Kelly break down the movies into five different categories and rate them 1-5 for each category. We tally up all the scores and the movie with the most points comes out victorious.

 

 
 

HERE ARE THE CATEGORIES:
STAR POWER | SCARE FACTOR | SEXY SCENES | GORY VIOLENCE | MY RATING

DK
Donald Kent
CK
Chris Kellly

The categories were chosen in a very deliberate manner because it is in our opinion that people watch these type of movies for certain entertainment value portrayed in our article. There even could be a scenario where we prefer a movie, but it could lose because the lack of overall entertainment value, besides is there really a preference for these types of moves? We also have a BIZARRE BOUNUS POINT for any movie that walks a little on the crazy side.

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"KILLER JOE" VS "MAY"

Hold on to your butts because we are back and better than ever! Welcome to the new installment of “Gruesome Twosome Double Feature!” In this edition we have two very disturbing flicks “Killer Joe” and “May” Both of these films toe the line of Horror, but both are very fucked up.  Who doesn’t like that?  Which one is worth your time?  Read on and find out.



KILLER JOE

STAR POWER

DK
  CK

DK: This movie stars Matthew McConaughey, Emile Hirsch, Thomas Hayden Church, Juno Temple, Gina Gershon…who hasn't aged too well in the last ten years. Her face looks like if the late Michael Jackson and Courtney Cox had an overgrown slutty baby. I have to give this category high marks because Matthew McConaughey's performance as a Psycho was mesmerizing. Hands down the best performance I've seen from McConaughey from his whole career.

CK: I won't bother mentioning all the names as DK already has, but yes, Matthew McConaughey is FUCKED. I know this isn't saying much, but I believe it is the best performance of his career. His character is so fucked up he makes DK look like Paul Reubens. Gina Gershon also makes an attempt to revamp her career, and yes, she is still a dirty fucking tramp.



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SCARE FACTOR

DK
  CK

DK: Since this was more of a disturbing film, I can't give the Scare Factor a high score. Although this movie wasn't scary it was messed up to a point to make me wonder what the hell I was watching. There was this final scene with a fried chicken leg that was so fucked up, if you can picture Barbara Walters naked, that scene is even more disturbing.

CK: I must disagree with DK, this movie is soooo fucked up, it is scary. McConaughey is such a demented character; it will make your skin crawl. Imagine you have a 15 year old daughter. Now imagine your 15 year old daughter is getting pounded doggy- style by Matthew McConaughey. NUFF SAID!

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SEXY SCENES

DK
  CK

DK: Oh boy did this flick have some Sexy Scenes.  In the opening scene we get a glorius shot of Gina Gershon’s bush.  Her muff was so furry that I’m surprised groundhogs didn’t burrow down inside her vagina.  The very young Juno Temple also wasn’t shy on showing the goods.

CK:  If you are looking to see some major skin action, look no further.  This movie provides multiple tit shots, along with a not so gratuitous beaver shot from Gina Gershon.  Seriously, her hair pie is so ferocious it made my dick retract back into my ball sack. 

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GORY VIOLENCE

DK
  CK

DK: Throughout the majority of the film there wasn’t much gore until the final scene, but there was plenty of violence throughout.  This movie is rated NC-17 for a reason and the violence in this movie is very intense.  The blood starts gushing toward the end to satisfy the gore fiends out there.  I don’t know why, but I’m craving some fried chicken right now.

CK:  This movie does have a ton of violence, however, not very much gore.  There are a few scenes where Emile Hirsch’s character gets the living shit kicked out of him, but still nothing too over the top.  As DK mentioned, the final scene provides a few scenes of sick shit!

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MY RATING

DK
  CK

DK: Overall this movie has to be seen mainly because of the performances, especially Matthew McConaughey’s.  Like I said earlier, McConaughey plays a great Psychopath.  This movie makes you feel uncomfortable throughout the entire movie and I believe that was the Director’s intention, this movie is not for the faint of heart. The best way to describe this movie…it’s like Rosie O’ Donnell scissoring Jessica Alba.  You want to look away because of Rosie, but you know you can’t because you must see Jessica.

CK:  I must agree with DK on this movie.  The entire film revolves around McConaughey’s character and he does a fantastic job of portraying a sick bastard.  I was not feeling very enthusiastic for this when I learned McConaughey had the lead role, however, he does a great job and is truly one sick mother fucker.

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MAY

STAR POWER

DK
  CK

DK:
This movie stars Angela Bettis (who some might recognize from the Carrie remake), Jeremy Sisto, and Anna Faris (who was looking mighty fine in this flick).  Really this wasn’t a bad cast at all and the acting was above average.  Angela Bettis portrayal of May was actually the highlight of the film.

CK:  The biggest star here of course is Anna Faris. She plays May’s coworker and soon to be dead Bestie.  The character of “May” is played by Angela Bettis who does a nice job playing the twisted young woman obsessed with butchering everyone in her life.  I wish we could have seen some chick on chick action, but May quickly starts her period and fucking kills everyone.

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SCARE FACTOR

DK
  CK

DK: Again this movie is not scary at all, it disturbing…very disturbing.  The main character May never had friends growing up because of her lazy eye and her only companion as an adult was the doll she had growing up.  Even as an adult she rejected by society and became more demented.  I’m going to declare next Friday as Lazy Eye Day.  On next Friday every person you come in contact that has a Lazy Eye, make sure to give them a big hug so they choose not to hurt anyone else.

CK:  You may not feel scared, but you sure will feel creeped out.  After May realizes she has no friends, she decides to make one of her own by dismembering everyone and sewing them back together.  DK once tried this, but failed as he realized he never learned how to sew.

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SEXY SCENES

DK
  CK

DK: Unless you find cannibalism sexy, there is nothing sexy in this movie.  Scratch that….Mmmm…the fact that Anna Faris portrays a hot “Carpet Muncher” deserves a few extra points.

CK:  DK is right, Anna Faris provides much of the sexiness here.  The thought of her licking hot snizz is enough to make any man cream his boxers.  Unfortunately, there is nothing else sexy about this film.

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GORY VIOLENCE

DK
  CK

DK: I believe that the gore factor was a little more prominent in this film than in “Killer Joe.” We have bloody murders, eyeballs hanging, and human limb reattachment.  What more could you ask for in a movie that is not quite horror.  I’m just glad I’m alright after watching this messed up movie.  Who am I kidding…my brain is still fucked up..  Can anyone hold me?

CK: The main character “May,” truly is one sick BITCH, and is definitely the master of hack and slash.  She sure does wield a pair of scissors better than any other ninety pound psycho I have ever seen. If you like to watch girls gone wild, then look no further. 

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MY RATING

DK
  CK

DK: This movie was just as disturbing as “Killer Joe,” and even debatably more so.  This movie isn’t NC-17, but my God whoever thought of this movie is purely demented.  This movie hits you at the core because everyone probably knew someone like May growing up.  The people who made this movie are more demented than CK, which I didn’t think was possible.
 
CK: I give this a solid 3.5.  It has a very unique plot, one that includes a psycho cross-eyed bitch, who likes to cut people into pieces and sew them back together.  This has a good mix of story and gore, and is sure to appeal to all horror fans out there. It also teaches us all a valuable lesson,” always be nice to the office crazy bitch.”



THE DOUBLE FEATURE WINNER IS...
POINTS: 34 POINTS: 29.5


FINAL THOUGHTS

DK: If you want a movie night with nothing, but disturbing films then I can’t think of any better options. There are moments in both of these films that must be seen to believe.  Even though there is a winner, I recommend both. Now I feel dirty, it’s time to take a shower.

CK: This was obviously a very close match-up.  While “Killer Joe” is the winner, I still recommend watching “May.”  These movies are very evenly matched and offer a very sick style of cinematic pleasure. ENJOY!

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COMING SOON:


 
STUDENT
BODIES
VS
SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE

We would love to hear from you guys and tell us that we either hit the nail on the head or that we are complete morons, in which I anticipate it would probably be the latter.

Staff: Donald Kent | Chris Kelly

     
         
 

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